Choosing My Happiness

I'm about 30/31 and sitting in my apartment on a hot summers day, that heat that makes you yearn for a pool, or a beach, any cool relief. My outfit, barely there, my skin mostly bare. I sit on my bed, my head full of dread. All those men, those strangers that feel like dangers out there. What will they say? Will they look at me as prey? FUUUUUUCk this damn muck it sure can suck..

I win!

"Wait!" I shout to myself.

"WAIT!" Again, to just me in my head.

None of this had happened yet on this day. This day was new. Yes, all of these things had happened to me. Yes, it is ick to be talked to by dicks. BUT, today, that day I had yet to be prey.

An experiment! Instead of screaming, or scowling, or mean mugging from future bugging, I would take a deep breath, leave my armor at home, smile a while and see how it goes.

Guess what, no one said "PSSST I like your butt." No man told me to smile, no dick gave me an ick. I had taken control. I had decided my fate on that date.

So I preceded to pick joy, choose happy, be much, and such. I had beaten the muck and even the trolls stopped to suck.

Believe in your power. Think of it like a shower. Cleansing away the dirt of the past, leaving a shine that will last.